Saturday, March 30, 2013

sick of being sick

I haven't been sick in about 2 years. Worse than that, I haven't taken a day off from work for feeling sick. I only took a personal day once since I had this job. So why do I feel so guilty? I think I am the kind of person who has an insane hard work ethic to where I feel guilty and take things so hard when I am not there in the office. I recently found out that I will not be changing locations at work, which means that I will have more time to focus on youtube and blogging, and the things that make me happy. I love my job so much, but I also love youtube and blogging and writing. I am torn between the life I would love to have and the life that is "safe". I am very blessed and thankful to have a job during these rough times. I am also thankful that I have a loving girlfriend and a nice apartment home. I also have a one year old car and have very little credit card debt. I really don't have anything to complain about. SO I am sitting here with a fever, barely able to speak, and a cough that is awful. My whole body aches, and all I can think about it how bad I feel about having to call in sick to work 2 days in a row. Even my own doctor told me that it is good to have a personal "mental health" day. But I can't seem to get my mind to stop focusing on the stress and guilt and just RELAX. It is going to be hard for me to heal fully when I can't stop thinking. Does anyone else deal with this? I am curious to know. xoxo gleamogirljoelle

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