Monday, July 13, 2015

A huge victory leads to a Great Depression

Last night was an amazing historical event. The U.S. Women's national team won the World Cup. The game was incredible and the girls were nothing but superior to how they've played the whole tournament. I was so happy to see them do so well...

But then the final whistle blew, and it was all over. I don't know if it was seeing them cheer with joy and relief and happiness, or if it was all of the tweets and facebook posts that did it. But as soon as it ended, I felt like a part of me died a little. 

Perhaps I am being slightly dramatic, but I can't help but feel like a dark cloud of depression has been hanging over me since 9:00 last night. I can't seem to smile. My head is in a fog, and I can barely focus my eyes on anything. All I want to do is cry. 

Having something to look forward to and to talk about and show pride in has been amazing for the past month. What do I do now? 

I have this weird personality flaw where I will obsess over something and then when to is done or over, I don't know what to do. It's almost like a death that I have to overcome, but with something so minor as sport or a band or a hobby. 

Women's soccer was my way of coping and getting through all of the stuff that was going on with my health that was scary. And now a new chapter is about to begin. 

For now I will have to focus my attention on packing for my upcoming move in a month. I will have to fall in love with bubble wrap and getting rid of things and reorganizing.

Until the summer Olympics 2016...



I have never done a blog sale before, so as a beginner, please care with me. The majority of these items are sealed, never open. Some are used barely. The used items have been sanitized with alcohol. I am willing to ship internationally, however, due to customs I am not able to ship nail polish internationally. Sorry, not my choice.

I will accept paypal and venmo payments only. If you are buying something, I expect your payment promptly, as I plan on shipping things right away. Shipping charges will be decided based on weight of the item, and obviously location. I will be using the paypal shipping calculator to figure out shipping costs.

Once an item has been purchased, it will be removed. If you think the prices are too high, I am willing to negotiate. I am also willing to combine orders for shipping savings.

If you are interested, please EMAIL ME: subject BLOG SALE.

So here we go...

These Wet N Wild palettes are all Limited Edition. I somehow ended up with multiples of each of these. Selling for $2 each.

I bought each of these on a mega sale at Sephora. Selling for $5 each. All are sealed, brand new.

Another spontaneous purchase. Selling these for $5 each. Deborah Lippman polishes.

These were bought at Halloween. I never opened them or used them. Selling all 3 for $1 for the set.

This I got as a gift, and never opened or used it. Selling for $5 OBO. CK One mascara.

This brand new blush trio was sent to me from Starlooks. None of these colors suit me. Brand New. Only opened to take the photo. $10 OBO.

I never opened this blush from Ulta. I am not a big blush person. Selling for $3 OBO

This Julep polish was given to me. Never opened. $3 OBO.

The following nail polish sets are all from OPI. They have all been used at least once, but are like new condition. Boxes may have some wear and tear. I purchased each of these for $12.50, and I am asking $8 each OBO.

If you are interested, please EMAIL ME: subject BLOG SALE.

Happy Shopping!!


Thursday, June 25, 2015

Lazy day off

When I have a day off from work, I plan all of the things I would like to accomplish. I would love to film videos, organize my makeup, take photos. But really what ends up happening is that I will go to one or two stores to run errands, and come home and be lazy. I love snuggling on the couch with my little xena. She currently is snoring away as I type up this blog on my phone. She's a silly little thing. 
I still have a bunch of things to do today, I can't help but enjoy this time away from the chaos, with a warm dog in my lap, casually browsing the Internet. Such is my life on a day off from work. 


Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Too hot to handle

I'm officially dying from the heat. Well not literally, but it's very hot outside. I'm sitting here in Potbelly unable to move. I've got my farmhouse salad and I've already gone through one 20 oz diet coke. My whole body is aching in my business clothes. And I am dreading going back outside to walk to work. I love that I don't have to get in a car to get to my favorite lunchtime escape, but I hate the walk back, knowing that I will be soaked for the next 4 hours. To make things worse, my tattoo is in the healing phase which means it itches like crazy! ohhhh joy. 

In all seriousness, I do not enjoy heat. I work in an office environment where I have to be on my A game all day. I also wear 3/4 sleeve tops to cover my tattoo, which is miserable! 

My saving grace is knowing that I can bare all tomorrow on my day off. Well, not go out in the buff, but at least in a tank top and shorts. 

Are you in an area where heat is destroying your daily life?


Monday, June 22, 2015

50 Shades of Haaaaay

Image Credit:

I got the book “50 Shades of Gray” a while ago. Actually, I bought it when it first came out on paperback. I’m not going to lie, I was intrigued, and wanted to see what all of the hype was about it. I read about ¼ of the book before I put it down. I lost interest…quickly. I feel almost uncomfortable reading it.

So here we are a couple of years later, and the movie comes out. I chose not to see it in the movie theater, on account of 1. No one would see it with me and 2. I was afraid that I would be surrounded by horny couples or wives trying to get husbands to spice things up.

I added it to the Netflix queue when it came out on DVD. I still put off watching it for a while. Finally, I just started the movie (Anna was there too) and just watched it. It started off slow…almost cheesy.  It was kind of like Twilight meets some kind of sex movie. But then once we started watching for a while, I got sucked in. And it wasn’t the sex parts either. I was more interested by the emotional connection (*spoiler* and lack thereof from Gray) And then the movie just stopped! I ended with tears down my face and anger for not having a resolution to the plot line!

All in all, I liked it. I am contemplating as to whether or not I actually want to read the book again, and possibly the other books.

Have you read it? Let me know what you all think.


Sunday, May 10, 2015

One month later

Hello world. I'm still alive. I have been quite the slacker when it comes to blogging. When it comes to YouTube as well. My apologies. I really have no excuses. I could say time- I don't have enough of it. Or energy, I lack in that department too. But I made a promise to myself that I would be better in 2015 to blog, so here I am. Back to it.

Here's a life update...

My 9 to 5 job (aka it pays the bills) has picked up drastically. We are busier and that means less energy when I get home. I have also noticed a trend of staying past when I am supposed to leave. #dedicated 
My trip to Houston, tx was amazing. Life changing. And unforgettable. I truly met some awesome people and I am so thankful that I was given the chance to experience what I did. 

My health is not so good. I don't want to get into it too much, but I am forced to make some extreme adjustments to my lifestyle that suck. I means lesbehonest no one wants to go through life without soda, junk food, and carbs. But I have to. My bad habits have caused my body to say "hey you, stop it or you are going to die". So now I am a vegetable eating, water drinking, vitamin taking and hopefully excercising lady. I don't have a choice, I want to stay alive. (More details will follow soon)

My annual Dallas vacation is in 2 weeks. I sooooo need this. It is nice to take a break from my daily routine and then come back to my girls and be refreshed and the best me I can be. I can't wait to see my bestie again. (Photos will be on my Instagram page)

Youtube plans are in progress. I have much to say on camera and much to show. 

No buy. Yep, I'm trying it. I need to focus on spending money on valuable things and less frivolous makeup purchases. It'll a all be worth it. (Oh and as I hit landmark weight loss goals I will buy makeup prizes)

No wedding/marriage date plans yet. I know I know. I am the worst bride ever. But it will happen soon. This summer I hope.

That's all I can think of for now. Frequent updates are on Twitter, Instagram, and my facebook page.


Saturday, March 7, 2015


I usually like to keep my 9-5 job private from my YouTube/blogging job. I want to let everyone know a little bit of information about my life outside of cyberspace...

I have worked for the same company for 4 years. I kind of fell into this career out of desperation, but I am very thankful for it. Since starting in 2011, I have gone from one location, to another, and in 2014, I settled into my office that I am currently at. There are programs for continuing education that help with "moving up" in the company. I completed them in record time. I frequently work at other job sites to help out when needed. I am a hard worker (yes, I feel confident in saying that)

For 4 years, I have tried and tired for a specific position. This position is basically in addition to my normal job, and I would be required to help train new employees. Time and time again, I have not been given this position. I have shed tears, been frustrated, and asked myself why I wasn't good enough. 

I was approached early 2015 by the head of the program. They wanted to re-interview me, basically a call back for an audition. Last week, when I was out sick from my allergic reaction, I found out that I got it! I was beyond ecstatic! I got an email with my flight plans and itinerary for travelling to Houston, Texas, where the corporate office is. I am so happy about this trip in April!

I also wanted to mention, without mentioning it, that the company I work for, once again made it in the Fortune magazine top 100 companies to work for. (again, if I said how high up we are, you would know where I work...let's just say we are close to the top) The company consistently takes care of its employees with bonuses, benefits, and fun work events.

I have held in my excitement for too long. I worry way to much about how my success hurts the feelings of others who have not had the same success. Enough is enough. I am happy, a hard worker, and I busted my ass to be where I am today.

Though I would love to quit my job and do YouTube and blogging as a full time paid career, financially, it is just not possible at this time. 

Maybe someday...


Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Let the diet games begin!

Monday I started my low carb diet. When I was a freshman in high school, I did this same diet and lost 40 pounds in 6 months time. It's time to make a change. So I started this week, and we will see how it goes...


Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Youtube binge uploading

So I have tried very hard to film a tutorial for each look I try to do that differs from my usual naked basics. I recently got new pigments from glamour doll eyes and I also played around with some other products I had lying around. Check out my YouTube channel to see the videos! 


Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Chvrches could be my new favorite band

Image Credit:
No one will ever top my love for Paramore and Lights, but Chvrches just came into my life, and I think I like them a little too much.

My sister, Jayme, mentioned this band to me months ago, and I didn't think anything of it. She has pretty good taste in music, but it tends to differ from what I listen to.

I first heard the band Chvrches on the Hunger Games: Mockingjay pt 1 soundtrack. The song on that album is called "Dead Air". I really like the song, and when I listen to that album, it is not one that I skip. (I skip most of the songs on that soundtrack just an fyi)

It's only been a week since I downloaded the album, "The Bones of What You Believe". If it were a CD, it would have scratches on it. I can't stop listening to it. Every time I go in the car, I blast it.

The first song I fell in love with is called "Night Sky".

The next song I love is called "Recover"

I also love this song, called "The Mother We Share"

If you like the band Metric, the singer Lights, and female vocalists with a synth and a beat, this band is for you.


Tuesday, February 3, 2015

30 day blogging challenge FAIL

Well I set myself a goal to complete this challenge and I completely failed. It sucks, but I am proud of the fact that I have been writing more and more blogs. I have also bonded with a good friend of mine in the uk, Tania, over how much we want to change the looks of our blogs in 2015. We will be slowly working our way to both getting our blogs to be visually and functionally what we want this year. So be on the look out for changes. And check out Tania's blog (link on the right with a photo). 


Saturday, January 31, 2015


This cute little girl was admitted to the hospital Thursday night. She was in so much pain, and needed the doctors to help her. We got her back this morning and it brought a new perspective to my life. I don't care if I ever buy another cosmetic in my life as long as I have my family happy and healthy. Xena and Anna are my everything, and I would give up my whole life to be with them always. Words can't express how happy I am that my little girl is back home with us. I love her soooooo much.


Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Beauty Wish List

I have decided to start a running list of all of the makeup/beauty related products that are on my “wish list”. Since there are a number of products are online only and on certain websites, I am going to put links too. This will probably be updated as I get things, but I thought I would share with everyone the things that I am lusting after. Enjoy!
1.       Colour Pop eyeshadows. $5 each on “girl crush”, “hanky panky”, “bill”, “mittens”, “doe a deer”, “Fairfax”, “hustle”, “cricket”, “liberty” “get lucky”
2.       Colour Pop lip stix. $5 each on “feminist”
3.       Glamour Doll Eyes Box Set. $21 each on “tattoo parlor”, “matte about you”, “grease”
4.       Kat Von D “shade + light contour palette” $42 on
5.       Becca “The one perfecting brush” $49 on
6.   Sigma “spa brush cleaning glove” $35 on
7. Beauty Blender Pro $19.99 on (the black one)
8. tarte: the sculpter contouring face slenderizer in "park ave princess" $24 on
9. tarteist clay paint liner $24 on

I am sure that this list will evolve over time, but this is it so far. Let me know if any of you have tried any of these products.


Sunday, January 25, 2015

Blogging challenge day 25: best physical feature

My green eyes are, in my opinion, my best physical feature. Here is a pic without makeup (with eyebrows on) hard to see my eyes, but they're there.


Saturday, January 24, 2015

Blogging challenge day 24: a difficult time in my life

There was a time during my second year at college when I questioned what I was doing with my life. I contemplated dropping out of college and going to beauty school. I changed my major to "public relations" which was not right for me. I was hanging out with a different crowd of friends, and just really was unhappy. I couldn't even explain it. When I turned 21, I continued to struggle with how to deal in the college world. I was on prescriptions for bipolar disorder and depression, which basically turned me into a zombie. They were not working. I ended up taking a week off from school, stopped all my medications, and relaxed at home. I ended up switching my major back to "fashion design and merchandising", stopped my part time job, and tried to hang out with different people. It all helped. I would say that I had one of my first real break downs at that time. It was scary, but without my family, I don't think I could have made it through. 


Friday, January 23, 2015

Blogging Challenge Day 23: pet peeves

Well this is definitely a relevant blog post. I just got mad a few minutes ago.

1. When men leave the toilet seat up

2. When food orders are wrong

3. When pens/markers disappear on days I am off from work, and no one owns up to taking them

4. When basic rules are not followed because of laziness, not rebellion

Most of the time when I have a pet peeve, it is at work, and it revolves around common sense and courtesy.


Blogging Challenge Day 22: 10 Favorite Songs

Really? You are going to ask me to pick this!?!?!?!

Okay so as of right this second, here it goes! (in no particular order)

1. "Somewhere to hide" by Shiny Toy Guns
2. "Lost stars" by Adam Levine
3. "Moments" by Tove Lo
4. "Muscle Memory" by Lights
5. "My blood" by Ellie Goulding
6.  "Alive" by Krewella
7.  "That's what you get" by Paramore
8. "Glory and gore" by Lorde
9. "Can't hold us" by Sumo Cyco
10. "Fire n gold" by Bea Miller

I am sure these will change in a week from now, but these are the ones I like today.


Blogging Challenge Day 21: Something I miss

I miss the 90's. The 1990's. Tv, movies and music was so much better than it is now. In the 90's I was in the single digit age group, so I was a kid. Life was simple being a kid. I could listen to Spice Girls, watch Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, and play Barbies for hours and hours.


Blogging Challenge Day 20: Where do i want to be in 10 years...

I know that I want to be married, start a family, and not be living in the same apartment I am living in now. In 10 years I will be 39. I hope that I will be making more money, I will still have a close relationship with my family, and I will still be with Anna. Xena will still be alive (she is 6 now). 

I just want to be happy, healthy, and alive 10 years from now.


Blogging Challenge Day 19: My worst habits

Picking. I pick and bite my cuticles. And i am often embarrassed when i meet new work clients, because i have to shake hands.


Blogging challenge day 18: what am i afraid of?

I have a terrible fear of drowning. Dark, still water scares the shit out of me. I prefer swimming in a pool rather than a lake/river/ocean. I need to know that there is an end.


Blogging Challenge day 17: Favorite childhood book

Of course at the moment I am not at home, so I cannot take a picture of my favorite childhood book, nor remember the title of the book.

To be updated later...


Blogging Challenge day 16: Dream Job

Oh gosh. This is always a hard topic. Before I get into things, let me start off by talking a little bit about what I do right now...

I will not reveal the name of my company, or tell you what I do for a living. What I will say is that I love the company I work for. I have made great friends, and great money since I started in 2011. I couldn't ask for a better boss. The friends I have made are for life. The company takes care of its employees, which keeps us from not wanting to leave.

That being said, I am not working in the industry that I went to school for or my "dream job". I studied Fashion Design and Merchandising in college. I would also love to be a makeup artist.

The reality is that I work a job that pays well, has fantastic benefits, and takes care of its employees. Sometimes one of the hardest things in the world is to put your dreams on hold for security and stability.

Blogging and filming videos for YouTube is a way for me to indulge in my interests, even though I cannot make it a career right now.

I am thankful for the opportunities that have presented themselves to me, and I am excited for the future.


Blogging Challenge day 15: Timeline of my day

My days are not the same Monday through Friday. I work in an office where I work on weekend days as well as weekdays. Below is a timeline of the general weekday for me.

6:30am-7:00am (it varies based on how tired I am) wake up. put in contact lenses, take a shower
7:15am- dry off, take pills, put on deodorant. put on basic undergarments and a pair of sweats or shorts
7:20am- feed the dog. have a diet coke and a zone bar
7:25am- turn on youtube and watch videos in my feed, do makeup, eat. do hair.
8:00- take the dog to the bathroom
8:15- get dressed, brush my teeth.
8:30- out the door! head to starbucks
8:40- order my starbucks (grande nonfat, nowhip, java chip frappucino and either a butter croissant or everything bagel with cream cheese)
9:00am- arrive at work
1:00pm- lunch break
2:00pm- back to work
6:00pm- leave work and head directly home
6:15pm (depends on traffic and if i stayed late at work) arrive home and decide what to eat for dinner

The rest of the evening will vary. eat, watch tv, read books. (anna takes xena to the bathroom and feeds her dinner)

10:00pm- take the dog out for the last pee before bed

Read till I fall asleep.

Then do it all over again the next day.


Blogging Challenge Day 14: What's in my handbag

First of all, I want to apologize for not posting blogs since the 13th. I have failed this challenge miserably!

For this particular blog, I am going to post a photo and the contents of my purse in the future. (I do not have my purse handy at the moment)


Friday, January 16, 2015

Blogging challenge day 13: favorite quote

"The hardest thing in this world is to live in it" (from Once More With Feeling, the Buffy the Vampire Slayer musical episode)

"It's just a spark, but it's enough to keep me going" ("last hope" by Paramore)

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Blogging challenge day 12: if I won the lottery...

Forget the lottery, I'd be happy with a few million! But I could definitely use lottery money as much as possible. The first thing I would do is pay off my credit card and my car payment. Then Anna's credit card and car payment. I'd give my parents the money to pay off the rest of my student loans. I would buy my sister a new car and give her money to buy a house. I would pay off my parents mortgage and cars so they could move wherever they want and not take a loss on selling their house. I would buy Anna and me our dream house and a house on the beach for vacation. With the remaining money, there are a few longtime good friends I would give money to so they wouldn't have to struggle day to day. I would probably adopt 2 children and give them an amazing life. Maybe get another poodle if xena wouldn't get angry about it. I would like to travel to my dream destinations. I would shop a little. Donating money is very important, and I may start a scholarship fund for students like me, whose parents made too much money on paper, but the reality is that there were still bills to pay and anything could help. I would probably volunteer a lot with animal rescues because I have such a passion for dogs. And the rest would be invested into accounts for my children and our family to live on comfortably.

Call me practical, but just being able to pay the bills and not stress out means more than fancy cars and jewelry.


Monday, January 12, 2015

Blogging challenge day 10: first celebrity crush

The first celebrity crush I had was Zac Hanson. My sister and I were very big Hanson fans back in the day. 


Blogging Challenge Day 11: Most Proud Moment

There are a few moments in my life that I can honestly say I am proud of. I graduated college on time, I have an apartment, I bought my own car, and I have a steady job. But there is nothing than I could be more proud of than "coming out".

Being a product of a conservative household, and growing up in the 90's "gay" was not something that was as "common" as it is now. Mostly when people think of gay back then they immediately associate it with AIDS or HIV. This is pretty sad.

When I was in High School (between 2001 and 2004), things were still not as easily accepted as they are now. USA society has come a LONG way in 10 years. I remember being stared at, having to sneak around at school, and feeling that "someone was watching me" when I had my first high school girlfriend. I remember being caught between the part of me that was the uber Christian girl who went to youth group and church and representing a faith that speaks out against homosexuality. I was basically living a lie to appease my parents.

This continued through my years in college, and I really struggled between what was believed to be "right and wrong". I had my share of boyfriends and girlfriends, but nothing too serious. Little did my parents know there was a struggle going on inside of me that I felt I could not tell them in fear of being "kicked out" or "not loved anymore". This was also a point in my life where my parents financed my life 100%. I had no way to live on my own without having their support.

Post college, I still dated guys. It seemed like what everyone wanted and expected me to do. I even came close to settling for a guy who made his job his priority and basically wanted me to follow in his footsteps. There was very little attraction there, but he seemed like the winner I thought my parents would love for me to marry.

It wasn't until we broke up in May of 2012 that I came to my senses. I had decided that I would be Ok to be a single lady forever, and not worry about finding "the one".

And then I met her. Actually it is kind of a funny story. I saw her at least once a week from a distance, and always wondered who she was. Instant attraction on my part. Little did I know that she thought I was the cute girl in the office, and teased about getting my number. Without giving away my occupation, I do have to give it credit, or else I never would have met Anna, the love of my life, who I will be marrying Oct 31, 2015.

We started dating in August of 2012, and it was a secret to my family. I claimed I had a new "friend" i was hanging out with, or I failed to even mention that she existed (which it totally wrong, and I am quite ashamed of it now) we moved in together February 2013. I never invited my parents over nor did I ask for help with moving. Still they knew nothing.

It wasn't until a day when I was with my mom and sister sitting at their kitchen table, when I lost it. I had to let it all out. I cried my eyes out and told my mom that I am gay and that I am with Anna and I love her. My sister remained silent and just looked at me. My mom told me "I knew". In that moment, I was hysterical, but I was so brave to let it all out. I was so proud of myself in that moment and I felt a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders.

It took a good year before I started to feel more and more comfortable talking to my parents about my relationship. I have continued to open up and express my feelings and talk more about my relationship, and how happy I am to be free of the lie I lived for so many years.

And I want everyone to know that I have a loving and supportive family. They never make me feel horrible for being myself and I can't thank them enough for that.

I am telling this story because I think it is important to let everyone know a little bit more about me on a personal level, and to show you why I am the way that I am. I love Anna with all of my heart, and I cannot wait to be her wife!


Saturday, January 10, 2015

Blogging challenge day 9: tattoos

I currently have 3 tattoos. My first is a lightening bolt on my foot I got in 2010 by janelle Cuba in California. The second is a cursive v on my left wrist done by alfie in 2013. The third is the cover of the paramore "brand new eyes" album butterfly with the lyrics from the song last hope "it's just a spark, but it's enough to keep me going. I got the third at the dc tattoo expo in 2014 from Duffy. Below are photos. I am currently working with tattoo artist Sarah miller (from season 2 of ink masters) for my 4th tattoo- a back piece inspired by the tv show "Buffy the vampire slayer". This will take place this spring. Enjoy my pics and feel free to ask questions. 


Blogging challenge day 8: an old photo of me


I give you one of my high school senior photos. Wow that was 11 years ago. Yeah I thought I was all cool with my blonde flippy hair. Back then it was the shit. But now I love my long black locks:


Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Blogging challenge day 7: 10 favorite foods

I'm a junk food junkie. And it's bad. But I'm about to reveal the truth of my favorite foods.

1. Pizza 
2. Banquet chips
3. Italian subs (I prefer jimmy johns "Vito")
4. Salads (the one healthy thing I like)
5. Big burgers (with bacon and onions)
6. Onion rings (yeah, gross but delicious)
7. Chick fil a (omg deliciousness)
8. Chips and salsa
9. String cheese
10.taco bell

These are a few of my favorite things


Blogging challenge day 6: 3 personality traits I'm proud of

My first thought is, just 3? But seriously, let's get on with it.

1. I'm loyal. Like a dog. lol. I stand by my friends and loved ones, even when they do stupid stuff.

2. I'm unique. I'm not just one of those crazy girls. I'm a little bit of a Wacky personality but also sweet at the same time. 

3. I'm sometimes silly. I like to make silly faces and duck lips and buggy eyes.

Ok that was lame. But it's hard to come up with stuff on the spot.